I Apologize In Advance

I apologize in advance

for my paranoid entirely unwarranted stance

for believing still in freedom and romance

I apologize in advance

I apologize sincerely for my part

for every thing I've done and said and every fart

I swear I didn't believe it deep down in my heart

and I apologize profusely for my part

I am truly sorry for my core beliefs

in the preciousness of truth and coral reefs

and I'll do my best to consolidate my griefs

and limit my questioning to boxers or briefs

Officer, don't think I'm trying to be crass

but when you shoot those toxic canisters of gas

would you kindly mind not aiming at my ass

and remember we are humans of your class

And excuse my head for getting in the way

of that beating stick you carry every day

and I'm regretful for my bleeding as I lay

just tell me who your cleaners are I'll pay

 

Here's a question for our ruling lords and mayors

do you think it would be fun or would be fair

if the cops break down your door while you're there

and then beat you senseless in your underwear

And threw your money in a great big pile

until it reached the height of a quarter mile

and lit a match while wearing a big smile

and watched it burn while laughing all the while

Or just ordered in a phalanx of dump trucks

and filled them with your property and bucks

and dumped them in the landfill just for yucks

just like you do to all the little fucks

I apologize in advance

for my bull-headed entirely unwarranted trance

of believing still in freedom and romance

I apologize in advance

you can keep the shirt but leave me my pants

I apologize in advance

for my punishment please send me to France

I apologize but could I have an advance

I apologize in advance

[Dedicated to all the Occupy campers and supporters, who understand very well what this song's about]