Sunday, January 12, 2014

I Apologize In Advance

I apologize in advance
for my paranoid entirely unwarranted stance
for believing still in freedom and romance
I apologize in advance

I apologize sincerely for my part
for every thing I've done and said and every fart
I swear I didn't believe it deep down in my heart
and I apologize profusely for my part

I am truly sorry for my core beliefs
in the preciousness of truth and coral reefs
and I'll do my best to consolidate my griefs
and limit my questioning to boxers or briefs

Officer, don't think I'm trying to be crass
but when you shoot those toxic canisters of gas
would you kindly mind not aiming at my ass
and remember we are humans of your class

And excuse my head for getting in the way
of that beating stick you carry every day
and I'm regretful for my bleeding as I lay
just tell me who your cleaners are I'll pay
Here's a question for our ruling lords and mayors
do you think it would be fun or would be fair
if the cops break down your door while you're there
and then beat you senseless in your underwear

And threw your money in a great big pile
until it reached the height of a quarter mile
and lit a match while wearing a big smile
and watched it burn while laughing all the while

Or just ordered in a phalanx of dump trucks
and filled them with your property and bucks
and dumped them in the landfill just for yucks
just like you do to all the little fucks

I apologize in advance
for my bull-headed entirely unwarranted trance
of believing still in freedom and romance
I apologize in advance
you can keep the shirt but leave me my pants
I apologize in advance
for my punishment please send me to France
I apologize but could I have an advance
I apologize in advance

[Dedicated to all the Occupy campers and supporters, who understand very well what this song's about]

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